My origins remain a mystery, but I joined the
                                 Blue River Band in a most remarkable way.  After   
                                 wandering on-stage in a daze, I bit the old BRB
                                 bass player on the leg, resulting in a trip to the
                                 emergency room.  To everyone's amazement, I
                                 picked up the bass guitar and flawlessly completed
                                 the gig with the band.  Turns out that not only had  
                                 I never before played a musical instrument, but I
                                 also could only communicate in a clicking dialect
                                 never heard beyond the mountains of Pago-Pago.
                                 After Chuck taught me English and convinced me
                                 that wearing pants will not endanger my virility, he
                                decided to keep me in the band.  Renee, bless her
heart, has made it her personal goal for 2010 to house-break me (for your
own safety at gigs please do not attempt to feed me or make any direct eye
contact at any time.  Petting is usually safe)  See if you can find the secret
picture of my true form hidden on this page!!!
Matt Patterson: Bass Guitar